Moving on from the past in Northern Ireland – a personal journey

By Sara-Louise Martin

A spotlight has yet again been shone on our wee country and doubt and fear have been reintroduced into our lives. But one thing’s for sure, our entire island has declared a defiant ‘No’ to a return to our tortured past. Politicians have gathered in unity to condemn the recent murder spree, refusing to allow it to affect the Peace Process.

No one ever thought they’d see the day when ‘Big Ian’ and ‘Gerry’ would come together on the hill. It has been a slow and often frustrating process, but as we learn from The Tortoise and The Hare, ‘slow and steady wins the race.’

The political dramas of Ireland have long been played out on a world stage – everyone has been brought on board to try and broker a deal. But the peace is really being won in the homes and hearts of our everyday lives, because that’s where the pain has been felt the hardest.

I know this, because I am one of many to lose a loved one to The Troubles.

Both sides have been wrong. Both have suffered painfully, and we were grateful that both sides are putting ideological differences to one side, to move forward.

So the recent murders will not weaken the strong will of the Northern Irish people. No way. We have sacrificed too much to allow that to happen.

There is no longer one person on this island who believes that violence will bring about a solution. The pain caused up and down the country by The Troubles is something that everyone can identify with. So we are trying to draw a line under our past.

But opinions run deep. Sectarian bigotry and mistrust did not disappear overnight. The real heroes of this country are not the politicians – the real heroes are the community workers and church leaders. The politicians may legislate for peace, but it is the people who will enforce it. We saw that the only way that our land could be healed from its sectarian past was through cross-community cohesion, education projects that educate the younger generations to be tolerant, and a deep-rooted faith in the one true God.

From a personal standpoint I know this to be true. There is nothing about my outlook that is special. I have just been very fortunate: a faith-based approach has allowed me to move forward with my life.

You see, when you have lost a loved one in a political conflict you have two choices. You can continue in hatred, or you can choose not to hate. It all boils down to choice. If I am to live my faith then I have no choice but to ‘walk what I talk’. I will be perfectly honest and say that this is not always easy. Natural instinct tells me that it’s OK to live in bitterness. But my faith tells me that this vein of thought will only harm me in the long run.

Before you jump on me for saying that I’m using faith as a crutch, I challenge you to use this approach in some area of your own life. But let me illustrate my story further before you do this.

It’s so easy to build on bitterness; it comes naturally to us as humans. Choosing to forgive is the hard part. It goes against the grain. It’s unnatural. If we have been wronged, then we expect justice. It only seems fair.

But, what happens in the interim when we are waiting for this justice to be magically apportioned? What happens if the murderer is never caught? What happens if they are free to enjoy life, and go unpunished?

Well, bitterness and resentment become rooted in the heart of each of us. I choose the word ‘rooted’ because if we feed it, the roots go deeper, and it takes longer to break the chain. Do we build upon that mistrust until suddenly we realise we have no time for the person in question at all, and end up resenting them?

It’s time like these when the rubber hits the road. This is when faith demands action. That action is forgiveness – something we can rationalise on some level.

Bitterness needs to be cut off at the root. This is no glib statement, it’s flipping hard work. It’s a continual battle, the road less travelled – but it’s one that we must choose.

Northern Ireland is made up of many people who share my point of view. This island will only move forward when people choose to forgive – it’s not easy, and it’s not natural, but it’s the only light at the end of the tunnel.

You see, because of the depth of pain that has come from our troubled past we are a very tight knit community. At times, this can feel like ‘goldfish bowl syndrome’, exacerbating the tensions. But through time I have learned to appreciate this as an endearing quality. People genuinely care about other people. People generally know their neighbours.

Northern Irish people are warm and generous in nature. I can even boast that us folk from the Emerald Isle are loved the world over. It’s not a bit of wonder that Americans are so eager to stake their claim to their Irish roots. If I had a pound for every time that I have heard the phrase ‘my great great great great grandfather was from Cork…do you know the family? The surname is O’Grady’, I would be a rich woman. I worked in New York last year, so I heard this kind of thing quite a lot.

Even the current US President has ‘Irish blood.’ When you’re finished reading, go and YouTube ‘There’s no one as Irish as Barack Obama.’ You will laugh your socks off. (The band even got invited to the White House to perform it for him. Seriously.)

Of course, I am not in any way making light of the events of the past few days. I have known that pain in my own life. I have lost a loved one in the conflict and I still struggle with resentment because I’m human.

But in choosing faith, I overcome resentment. In choosing community over division; in choosing understanding and tolerance through education; in choosing economic development for our children; and in choosing God plus one as the majority, we will move on from the past and learn to live with one another. I’m convinced of it.

What I’m really trying to say is that the island of Ireland is a wonderful place. We don’t all hate each other. I would invite you all to discover the warmth of Irish hospitality by paying us a visit. Our history has shaped us in many ways. There are many great things to be said about this country and its people. Like other nations embroiled in conflict, we have been wrong, and there has been much wrong committed against us. Nowhere has this been more visable than in Northen Ireland over the past few days.

But while we have been hurt, we are prepared to learn from our past and move forward. We are from the ‘land of Saints and Scholars’ after all.

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