Why our conviction rate on rape does matter

From @LabourList

Following Baroness Stern’s report, published yesterday, which showed that a focus on the proportion of rape cases that result in conviction has left victims’ needs neglected and stopped women coming forward, this post was submitted to LabourList by a reader who asked to remain anonymous.

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I feel that this is a topic on which I have authority to speak, as a woman who has been raped and had my case dropped by police because of a lack of evidence. I was raped by someone I knew, in a place I thought I was safe and in the middle of the afternoon. Despite knowing that any woman can be raped I had always assumed it happened to other women; maybe they were drunk, walking home alone after dark and were attacked by a stranger. Late summer 2004 that illusion was shattered.

Since that afternoon my life has changed forever. I can never be the woman I was and the experience changed everything I did, it shapes who I am today and the way I live my life. It shapes my politics, where I choose to live, the friends I keep and it is the reason why six years later I still cry when I hear of other women’s experiences. It was the reason why I knew I had to write this blog when I heard yesterday’s news about rape conviction rates and the Stern Review’s recommendations.

I was in the second year of my degree at university and the immediate impact on my life was catastrophic. I went from going out with friends six nights a week to being a recluse and rushing home when it started to get dark. I went from being a student who got firsts to being a student who needed time extensions on essays and finished the year scraping by with a low 2:2. My relationship at the time broke down within days. I become depressed, withdrawn and spiralled into a depression which led to self-harm and suicidal thoughts. It took me ten weeks to tell a friend what had happened and many months to report the crime to the police. Obviously too late to have any ‘evidence’ of what had happened.

I don’t pretend to have the answers about how we bring more rapists to justice. Having studied legal matters I know that in my case a conviction could only have rested on my word against his. And that the likely outcome would have been a lot of pain for me and no justice at the end of it. This still makes me feel powerless today; my rapist is walking free, he probably has a job, maybe a girlfriend and his friends probably have no idea he would be capable of a violent rape.

I wanted to write this blog as a plea to readers of LabourList, because some of you will have the power to change things. Please take on the recommendations of the Stern Review. As a survivor of rape I still need the support. At the time I ended up with one hour session from a university counsellor who tried her best but was clearly underfunded and not able to provide me with the support I needed. For some women I’m sure this leads to their lives being ruined.

I survived. I moved hundreds of miles away from my family and my university partly out of fear of seeing my rapist on a daily basis. I passed my degree, have had relationships since then, and hold down a good job. But sometimes inside I recognise that I am still so close to the edge, although I doubt many of you would realise that, and the thing is I know some of you will know me and perhaps not have a clue.

In the UK in 2004/5 there were 12,867 recorded rapes, and many more unrecorded. Rape survivors are everywhere; they are your friends, your sisters, mothers and your work colleagues. This is a crime which carries unprecedented shame, which is why even though I am a confident young woman who does blog and is politically active, this blog is anonymous.