9 disturbing things you should know about Cameron’s reshuffle

1. The Minister for Equalities but not equal marriage

Nicky Morgan has replaced Gove at Education, while keeping the Minister for Women brief she has had since Maria Miller’s resignation. This morning, Cameron also announced  she was being given the Equalities brief, except… she voted against equal marriage. To get around the problem of having your Minister for Equalities opposing your flagship equalities policy, they have given Nick Boles, the new Minister of State for Business and Education, the job of dealing with same-sex marriage.

2. EU Commissioner doesn’t want to be EU Commissioner

Lord Hill has become the new EU Commissioner, but in an interview with Conservative Home last year he was asked whether he would want the job – and he replied: “Non, non, non.” LabourList would like to extend our congratulations to him on the role.

It’s not the first time he’s been stuck with a job he doesn’t like. In September 2012, he went for a meeting with David Cameron and resigned from his post as Secretary of State for Schools. Except Cameron didn’t notice that he was quitting. Hill remained in the job for anther four months.

3. “Sack Cameron” Osborne ally will now attend Cabinet

Last week, Matt Hancock posed in front of graffiti that said “Sack Cameron”. This week, he gets promoted. Hancock is the new Minister f State for Business, Enterprise and Energy, and he will now attend Cabinet.

It’s good news for George Osborne in the positioning for next leader, as Hancock is a well recognised Osborne ally. While Gove’s leadership star may have fallen, his new role as Chief Whip makes him best placed to judge who the Tory backbenchers are likely to support to replace Cameron. Osborne’s biggest threat will still be May, but Hammond’s promotion to Foreign Secretary may raise his hopes.

4. Minister who broke the law welcomed back after just five months

Mark Harper resigned as an immigration minister in February, because it turned out he was employing a cleaner who was in the country illegally. Just five months later, and he’s back in a job, as a Minister at the Department for Work and Pensions.

Just a reminder, Harper was the minister responsible for the “Go home” immigrations vans – which were so bad even Nigel Farage called them “nasty”. Nice to see there’s another compassionate voice in the DWP, then.

5. New Science minister believes in homeopathy

Greg Clark has been given a job as Minister for Universities and Science, replacing David Willetts. In 2007, Clark signed an Parliamentary Early Day Motion (EDM) welcoming “the positive contribution made to the health of the nation by the NHS homeopathic hospitals”.

6. Defence Secretary lost £1billion at Post Office

Michael Fallon has been promoted to Defence Secretary. As Minister of State for Business, Fallon overlooked the sale of Royal Mail, in which the Government underpriced the Royal Mail by around £1 billion.

7. Treasury minister supports the death penalty

Priti Patel has been dubbed the ‘modern-day Norman Tebbit’. Amongst her eye-wateringly right wing views is a firm belief that Britain should reinstate the death penalty.

8. Foreign Sec doesn’t know the difference between Saddam and Assad

As LabourList have already reported this morning, the new Foreign Secretary, Philip Hammond, last year showed that he does not know the difference between Saddam Hussein and Bashar al-Assad – even though Saddam had been dead since 2006. Still, knowing the names of Middle East dictators is probably as complex as things get in that job.

9. The Wales Secretary thinks the position is “meaningless”

Stephen Crabb has been promoted to Wales Secretary, a job he described as “emptied and somewhat meaningless” in an article he wrote in 2007. Goodto see so many of Cameron’s new appointments have such appetite for their roles.

And that’s before we even mention Amber Rudd…