Self-isolation means solidarity is more important than ever on Trans Day of Visibility 2020

Social distancing means this year’s Trans Day of Visibility (#TDOV) and Prides will not be the public gathering shows of support we are used to. The need to stay isolated at home is difficult for all of us, but transgender people face particular issues that impact our moral and mental health.

Since I transitioned 20 years ago, the longest I have spent continuously at home with my parents is one week every Christmas. Writing this for Trans Day of Visibility, I am one week into at least three weeks of close confinement with them, and it is bringing back memories of some of the difficulties I faced when transitioning.

When to come out about your gender identity and when to transition are difficult decisions for most of us. It is often complicated by concerns over how it will affect family members and how your employer and work colleagues will react. As with all difficult decisions, these questions are put off until something forces the issue. It is likely that family tensions, difficulties with obtaining hormones, cancellations of surgery, and online transphobic abuse will overwhelm the transgender community’s support network. Being an ally at this time really can make the difference.

While exploring my gender identity, I really benefited from affirmation and advice. The best advice was non-prescriptive because there is no right or wrong way of being trans, and for most of us it is a journey of finding your true self. Avoid saying “this is how you should do it”, and remember to always be supportive and affirming. Transitioning takes an enormous toll on a person and can leave them more vulnerable to transphobia. As a result, forms of abuse that you may have brushed off in the past, whether directed towards you or somebody else, can have a huge effect. In these times, allies and solidarity are essential. Allies should call-in people who are being unintentionally insensitive and call-out trolls who are being abusive, but it is best not to get into an endless debate with them because they get off on it.

Part of the network of support amongst the trans community are internet forums. These groups provide vital spaces for us to know other trans people, to explore our own identities, and to support each other. However, these have been undermined in recent times by anti-trans trolls pretending to be transgender to enter the forums and out other users. As a result, most forums do not accept people without a recommendation and background checks, but this caution cannot keep pace with the surge of requests from trans people to join the forums during this crisis.

Trolls claim it is free speech to offend minorities and individuals but hide cowardly behind anonymous accounts to escape accountability for their bigoted views. Now more than ever, when people are increasingly reliant on online social contact and the nation’s moral and mental health is under strain, we should be demanding that social media companies take greater responsibility for the content posted on their sites and close down anonymous abusive trolls accounts. Everyone has a role to play in making sure that we get through this crisis together safely. It is the role of our politicians and public servants to ensure our safety in our day lives, which they are doing tremendously under great pressure. It is the role of social media companies to make sure that we are safe online during this crisis, too.

There will be increased emotional pressures on transgender people living alone or with their families during this crisis, and we will rely on social media for friendship and support. All of us can play a role to help the trans community. Emotionally supporting individuals by keeping in contact and giving advice and encouragement makes a huge difference to people’s lives. Calling out abuse and making internet bullying and abuse socially unacceptable sets an example. Social media companies need to rise to the challenge and finally stamp out the hatred online so that communities like mine, which rely on online social contact and support, can exist without experiencing abuse. Most importantly, events like Trans Day of Visibility are so important because allies can lift up the voices of trans people, which are too often drowned out by a vocal few who challenged our existence.