PMQs Verdict: Bah Humbug

Merry Christmas one and all, said the speaker as PMQs began. Of course he didn’t – that was just my imagination – but it would’ve been nice if he did. But there was a festive feel about this week’s PMQs, albeit not the kind that is usually sung about in carols or which adorns the front of seasonal cards.

And there was certainly a ghost in the room, but it wasn’t the ghost of Christmas past, it was the ever more depressing ghost of PMQs past, cackling the same jokes, wisecracks and statistics into the yelping and jeering abyss (otherwise known as the Commons chamber). I sense the reboot of Open All Hours might manage to be fresher, funnier and less scripted than this.

In the immediate aftermath of PMQs someone acerbically note earlier that Christmas is a time for repeats – well we certainly got that today. All of your favourites were there, like a sort of budget compilation you might get in your stocking next week if you’re really unlucky. 101 David Cameron jokes about Ed Balls being a turkey. 50 ways to mention the millionaire’s tax cut by Ed Miliband.

All your favourites. The scripts could have been recycled from nearly any session since conference season. You lucky devils.

It was pretty grim all round to be honest. So much so that I nearly didn’t write about it – but it happened, and tradition is tradition (just like Christmas) so here’s my verdict.

David Cameron probably came out on top – because he played the game that Westminster watchers dictate he must play. He shouted and bawled and made awful sub Christmas-cracker jokes about Turkeys and mocked his opponent more successfully than anyone else. Ed Miliband meanwhile is trying to play an altogether different game. He’s trying to get the Tories to point and laugh and jeer on TV when he asks questions about the cost of living. He’s trying to talk about the economy as something other than ONS figures.

The conventional Westminster wisdom says he’ll lose playing that game – but the conventional wisdom said he’d never become leader in the first place. Next year Ed Miliband needs to prove a lot of people wrong. And it’s going to be hard. And it’s going to take time. But if it works, it might just change the way Westminster talks about the world outside its gates.

Merry Christmas, one and all. Enjoy the time off, next year is going to be a ride and a half…