PMQs liveblog: March 9th

By Mark Ferguson / @markfergusonuk

Verdict: Occasionally PMQs can be the highlight of the political week. This was not one of those occasions. All of the very worst aspects of this weekly Punch and Judy show were out in force. Insults, unpleasant barbs, pantomime chanting, pre-scripted (and dreadful) so called jokes and – just in case it wasn’t unpleasant enough – Cameron decided to further develop his unhealthy focus on the Miliband brothers.

The performances from the two key performers was of such a low standard it almost makes you wonder if they were really trying. Ed Miliband led with all of the right issues – Libya, competence and policing – but there seemed little conviction. Cameron is right, Ed’s lines are pre-prepared. Yet it takes incredible gall to give a pre-prepared answer about pre-prepared questions, a then add a pantomime style call and response routine with your backbenchers as a “piece de resistance”.

The attack on Ed over David’s speech last night was predictable (indeed, we predicted it), but that didn’t make it any less unsavoury. The PM seems to fall back on these kind of attacks when he’s on the ropes. The sad thing about today is that he wasn’t really in trouble. He had little need to deploy the DM grenade in his bcd pocket. He just did it because he could, because that’s become his nature, because he’s happy to be hurtful. Shame on him. I once thought better of him than that. Not any more.

In many ways today’s PMQs was like watching lower league football. There was plenty of blood and thunder and everyone was trying to look busy, but in reality it was slow and plodding, and no-one had the skill or the guile to enliven this drab affair. We even had terrace chanting. It was like the MPs knew exactly what they were part of.

Tory MP Peter Bone couldn’t help but play up the low-rent pantomime feel with an intervention that featured more “my wife” jokes than a seventies comedian’s set. Yet by forcing Cameron to admit that he sees Britain’s future inside the EU, and won’t back an in/out referendum, he may have made the most decisive intervention in today’s PMQs. The Tory right will not be amused. Their reaction to this is more likely to be boos than cheers, if pantomime-style is now how Cameron elects to operate.

12.32: PMQs fizzles out with the final few questions failing to ignite the house. We’ll have our full PMQs verdict by 1pm.

12.29: Interesting question from Catherine McKinnell, who is unhappy about way in which her local Lib Dem council is allocating funding. I very much doubt it’ll be a Lib Dem council in Newcastle after May.

12.23: So Cameron has decided to quote John Healey in defence of Cameron’s health reforms. Doesn’t he learn? Healey will no doubt be writing to the PM again.

12.20: Here comes the awkward squad – Tory backbencher Peter Bone asks for an in/out EU referendum (seemingly 80% of Express readers want it, amongst other things). Cameron makes his clearest statement yet – he thinks Britain is better off in the EU. The Tory right will not like that.

12.14: Incidentally Ed Miliband’s final attack on Cameron was to say “The PM might act like he was born to rule, but the truth is he is not very good at it.” Are we about to see a returnb to class based attacks?

12.12: Cameron has one hell of a cheek doesn’t he. In the same breath he accuses Ed Miliband of “pre-scripting” his remarks, and then proceeds to quote David Miliband’s speech and attempt a pre-prepared “call and response” with his MPs. Very cheeky indeed.

12.10: “Ten months and so out of touch”. That’s the attack that Cameron responds worst to, but he doesn’t lose his temper this time. Perhaps he’s learning how bad that looks?

12.08: Miliband tries to judo throw Cameron by using his attack against him – saying he has a second cousing in Belgium he’ll be going after yet.

12.05: As predicted in our preview. Cameron uses David Miliband as an attack line, rather than answering questions on Hague’s future. The Tory benches cheer, but that was hardly a ringing endorsement for Hague.

12.03: Miliband leads off with what most people expected – asking who authorised the bungled mission in Libya last week. He then follows up on the repeated failures on foreign policy and asks if this is a foreign minister problem or a government problem.

12.01: And we’re off. A question on “No smoking Day” from Gateshead Central MP Ian Mearns. This may not prove popular with Tory MPs who have rounded on the smoking ban. Cameron admits being a closet smoker in a robust response.

Preview: Last week’s PMQs wasn’t particularly memorable, which is fortunate for David Cameron as it’s one he’ll want to forget. Laughter and corpsing may be endearing in certain circumstances, but they’re not Prime Ministerial – especially not when the subject is the closure of Sure Start centres.

Cameron hasn’t exactly had a good week since then either. His attempt to get on the front foot by attacking the Civil Service was an error – as Tom Watson notes this morning – and he’s also likely to face difficult questions about his foreign secretary’s competence today after more Libya bungling. Recently he was laughed at by MPs in the chamber, which doesn’t bode well. Other topics which may arise are cuts in police numbers, and the Prince Andrew scandal. Ed will need to tread carefully in any mentions of the Royals in the chamber, but he may want to force Cameron into a public statement on the matter.

Ed Miliband may also want to discuss the AV referendum (another topic he’ll want to approach with care, especially with a divided PLP) as stories begin to circulate about a Tory “crisis meeting” on voting reform. That could provide an opportunity for Miliband to drive a wedge between the two coalition partners. Whatever the result in May there will be immediate political fallout, which Labour will want to capitalise on.

As for Cameron’s attacks, he’s partial to references to Ed’s elder brother, so David Miliband’s speech to the LSE last night should provide some potential barbs for the PM to throw around. The question is, does Ed have an appropriate response yet?