The Week in Bits: Don’t be “openly racist”

Conservatives: For hardvolunteering people

“Money is no object,” orated David Cameron on Tuesday, as he engaged his Strong Leader in Difficult Times mode (signature signs: frowning, saying “tough choices”, blaming the last Labour Government when things go wrong).

Certainly, money is no object to those who aren’t paid: you just open your wallet, and sure enough, no objects in there. But how do you ensure that money is no object to as many people as possible? Well, a leaked memo from Tory HQ helps the cause by appearing to advise MPs on how to “money no object” their staff.

The document, seemingly produced by some sort of makeshift Citizens’ Abuse Bureau, stresses that you should advertise for “volunteers” rather “workers” if you don’t want to pay them. In fact, avoid the word “work” completely, because otherwise they could fall into the murky abyss that exists between people who don’t work for you and you don’t have to pay, and people who do work for you and you do have to pay. It’s a very difficult distinction, and it’s easy to see why Tory MPs might struggle with it. Perhaps they could make it simpler for themselves by only hiring staff they’re happy to pay, just like everyone else does.

This is a story that could come back to bite the Conservatives if they stick with their “For Hardworking People” slogan in the run up to the election next year.

Funny is no context

As it happens, unpaid internships were not what Cameron was referring to when he made his Strong Leader in Difficult Times intervention. Taken out of context, it’s easy to make it look like it relates to, and then make easy jokes about, any number of things (eg. David Cameron’s incredible personal wealth).

The PM was in fact talking about the flood relief effort, so in the interest of fairness, let’s put aside the cheap jokes about Cameron’s personal wealth (“Money is no object” – David Cameron) and put the quote in context.

Tuesday: “Money is no object” – David Cameron
Wednesday: “No new money for flood relief” – Downing Street

Farage silver bullet for electoral success

Nigel Farage’s column in The Independent this week focussed largely on the appalling dirty campaign the local Labour Party has run in the Wythenshawe and Sale East by-election. The alleged grubby tactics, of which we should all be ashamed, include offering to help elderly Labour supporters with their postal votes, and targeting voters who have previously identified with Labour, an underhand trick known mysteriously as “GOTV”.

The leader of UKIP, the UK’s Third Party (© the British Media), also used the article to lash out at the BNP, who are apparently unhappy that Farage and co. are sweeping up the votes of the dissatisfied working class that they feel are rightfully theirs. Nigel had a word of advice for the far-right in attracting support: “Many people don’t want to vote for openly racist parties”.

There we have it. Finally, the key to political success.* Don’t be openly racist. Covertly racist, sure – do that all you want. Wrap up your racism in coy, anti-immigration rhetoric and imply it by only showing white faces on your party conference programme but, hell, don’t be brash about it.

If only Gordon Brown had known this. Had Labour’s slogan in 2010 been “Are You Thinking What We’re Thinking?”, that fourth term would have been a shoo-in.

So thank you, Nigel Farage, for this revealing insight into the electoral strategy of UKIP. Not openly racist. Got it.

*Political success here measured by the ability to consistently come second in first past the post elections.