We should have high expectations of all fathers

Three months ago, on Father’s Day, ICM released a poll showing that two out of three British adults think the role of fathers is undervalued. I find this deeply worrying, but sadly unsurprising. There is no doubt that some progress has been made in recent years: many fathers are spending more time with their children, while the ability to balance work and parenthood is an option for an increasing number of mothers. But, while of course welcome, these trends should not detract from the central problem that continues to persist: that fathers are still too often seen as secondary when it comes to bringing up children.

Changes to the law have gone some way to addressing the issue. Since April 2011, fathers and mothers have been able to share some of the 52 weeks of existing leave, with fathers now able to take up to six months off, beginning when the baby is 20 weeks old. In addition, new rights being brought in next year will allow for greater freedom for mothers, fathers, partners and adopters to choose how parental leave will be divided between them. However, when only one per cent of fathers actually take this extra paternity leave, it is clear that the problem cannot be solved through legislation alone. Social attitudes must also change if the importance of fathers is really to be appreciated, and it is a culture of fathers being active parents that we now need to foster in the UK.

Attitudes to fatherhood are closely linked to broader ideas about the role of men in society. We have seen models of masculinity metamorphasise over the years from the ‘metrosexual’ to the ‘ubersexual’ to the ‘lad’. While each stereotype is accompanied by a range of its own distinct gender issues, one broad theme is consistently apparent throughout: the absence of active fathering as a social norm. We came closest to getting it right during the 1980s, when the idea of the ‘New Man’ emerged as a model of masculinity that embraced a more egalitarian approach to domestic duties. But this model of masculinity didn’t stick around for long enough to develop in its own right and convert more to its cause, and older and more damaging ideas of manhood soon returned.

The idea of active fathers is not a new one – at least not in many countries. Scandinavia, the region frequently cited as the origin of a number of pioneering social models, has a deeply engrained culture of domestic equality in which men and women share parenting duties. Across these countries, fathers are seen as a crucial and an equal part of the child-rearing equation, while this norm is backed up by highly egalitarian and progressive laws around parental leave. Such a system sees over 90% of fathers take paternity leave.

To take one example, progressive parental leave policies have been on Sweden’s agenda for over four decades, and the benefits can be clearly see on both sides of the gender spectrum. A study conducted by the University of Gothenburg in 2007 revealed that the vast majority of men felt ‘a deep relationship’ with their child as a direct result of their period of paternity leave. Compare that with the 82% of British men who say they don’t spend as much time with their children as they would like. Similarly, since the launch of these policies in the 1970’s there has been an upward trend in the happiness of Swedish mothers, who have a far greater degree of freedom to return to work when they choose, as a result of knowing that their partner will be able to step in to help share the childcare responsibilities.

We should have high expectations of all fathers, recognising their importance in the family and doing more to support them in their desire to be active parents. That requires nothing less than a change in our national culture – one that will at last recognise the huge benefits that a change in the perception of fathers in Britain will bring. If we want inspiration for how that can be done, we should look to our European neighbours and emulate a model that is rooted in the recognition that fathers should, and mostly want to, play as big a role as mothers when it comes to raising a family.

David Lammy is the Labour MP for Tottenham and a candidate for London Mayor. He’s speaking at the LabourList fringe event “Dad’s Army” (sponsored the Royal College of Midwives, Barnardo’s and Working with Men) at 17:30 in the LabourList Marquee. See the Facebook page for more details.