PMQs verdict – Outdated, misplaced, irrelevant to the real needs

“Outdated, misplaced, irrelevant to the real needs”, a quote, of course, from Neil Kinnock’s most famous speech as Labour leader – but also rather apt for PMQs. Last week was dire, but passionate – this week it was dire and passionless. Not the worst PMQs I’ve ever seen – last week’s “effort” will live long in the memory – but this one is in with a bullet at number two.

It’s not the issues being discussed that are the problem as such. The Leveson is quite “inside the beltway” but that’s only because every conceiveable effort has been made to make the process staggering dull and impenetrable to the man on the street. Gross misdeeds perpetrated on the behalf of the press have been alleged on an almost daily basis in recent weeks, and yet the PM – a man who hired one News of the World Editor and rode alongside another (perhaps on her borrowed horse) – now seems as distanced from the affair as anyone else. In fact he’s so relaxed about Leveson, that he decided to chose to continue rattling on about his Education Secretary’s deliberate and transparent attempt to undermine the inquiry rather than talk about the NHS.

He really doesn’t want to talk about the NHS, that much is clear.

So on we trudged, again, into the trenches of NHS bill conflict, sinking ever deeper into the quagmire of Parliamentary discourse. Which significant professional organisations back the bill? asked Miliband. Answer came there none – until after Miliband sat down for his final question, when Dave decided that the time was right to reel off a few smaller organisations who back the bill (at the moment). Had he responded sooner Miliband would have rightly laughed in his face – these groups are no match for the BMA or the RCN, but it was too late and Cameron was left to get away with it.

Without an adequate response from the PM, Ed was left to taunt the DPM, who confirmed that he backs the NHS bill. Miliband looked delighted, almost swept off his feet by an impromptu semi-jig. It looked ungainly and a bit silly. Probably best to avoid that kind of thing in future…especially when we’d rather people were against the bill. Wouldn’t we?

None of this quite comes close to describing what it is that I find so grim about PMQs lately. But during today’s session I think I put my finger on it. Quotes. Long gone are attempts to win an argument with their own rhetorical skills, now the two leaders prefer to toy with the words of others. Why bother to win the argument when you can try to embarrass the other side instead? It’s all a big game, isn’t it? There are more quotes in the average PMQs than there are in an A Level English exam. At least today the quotes were restricted to trade unionists and doctors, rather than sinking to the depths of quoting Labour bloggers.

So thank heaven for small mercies, yeah?