Demon Eyes needs you

Labour’s disastrous spell in the 80’s is well-documented. Toxic splits across the movement combined with Thatcher’s immovable rule to ensure that the left was stuck in paralysis for years.

But, as we now know, something was stirring. New blood was coming through the ranks. They were sick of powerlessness. For too long, they thought, Labour was stuck. Floating on an ideological cloud straight down an electoral cul-de-sac.

All that, as we know, changed. And with the re-emergence of the Labour Party as a party of power came a group of young people who, after the cut and thrust of the working week in opposition and then government, needed something to do on the weekends. Red Menace was born – the football team comprised of the new visionaries of the left.

Combining the adrenaline rush, the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, and the need for strategy, tactics and execution, the troops took to Battersea Park to take on London’s finest. And soon after the 1997 landslide, they became Demon Eyes – with the mandatory sleight at Conservative misjudgement.

While many from the first and subsequent generations have gone on to run think-tanks, newspaper columns, or the country, to this day Demon Eyes grace the now-state -of-the-art Market Road pitches. Pitting their wits, hangovers, and multi-coloured boots against the best that the Thames League has to offer.

After storming to promotion from Division 2 two seasons ago, Demon Eyes now straddle the relegation zone and safety in Division 1 almost as expertly as the party that they created did the electorate.

Sir Alex Ferguson, that great Labour thoroughbred, said of Manchester United that it is “the train that waits for no-one.” Well, he could just as easily have been talking about Demon Eyes.

Ferguson also prided himself on always having a radical, principled, and honest left-wing, a versatile, inventive and strong centre, and a dazzling, ground-breaking right flank. Again, straight from the Demon Eyes playbook.

And this is where you come in. The train doors are open, ready for some new passengers on this journey that Michael Portillo could only dream of getting on, let alone being unceremoniously booted out of.

Demon Eyes is recruiting.

And we are recruiting for two major upcoming events, as well as next season.

July 19^th and August 23^rd will see the now-annual battles between Demon Eyes, in their Labour List-adorned strips, and their Tory rivals AFC Bluebirds, backed by our blue friends at Conservative Home.

Over the coming weeks, there will be moderately intensive trial sessions, known in the trade as “kickabouts” at Highbury Fields. And you are needed. We’ll be meeting on Sunday mornings for an hour, to joyfully kick balls around, pretending to be this summer’s World Cup heroes.

So whether you just want a run-around, or you fancy yourself as the new left-wing maestro, come along. If a place on the pitch against the Tories isn’t enough to get you motivated, then nothing will be. Oh, and it’s free!

Get in touch on [email protected] or tweet @sowadally to let me know if you want to come along.

Help us create New Danger for the Thames League’s finest.