Revealed: The Tory Taliban’s Toxic Timetable

As we reported last week, the Tory right have decided that the best use of their time and energy during this prolonged period of austerity and falling living standards…is to produce a wish list of bills so bonkers they leave the Monster Raving Loony Party in the dust.

And because Private Members Bills are usually only debated on Fridays, the many pieces of proposed legislation put down by the “Tory Taliban” will be popping up throughout the political year ready to give David Cameron a fairly regular headache.

Now we know when each of these bills will be debated in the Mother of all Parliaments, it’s time to prepare your popcorn folks…

Friday 5 July

Margaret Thatcher Day – renaming the August Bank Holiday after Thatcher (Peter Bone MP)

EU Membership (Audit of Costs and Benefits) – commission a study of the benefits and costs of UK membership of the EU (Christopher Chope MP)

Friday 12 July

Sexual Impropriety in Employment – abolishes sexual harassment cases in the workplace (except if a crime has been committed) (Christopher Chope MP)

House of Lords (Maximum Membership) – sets a limit on the number of Lords, and stops more being appointed House of Lords (Maximum Membership) (Christopher Chope MP)

Friday 6 September

Face Coverings (Prohibition) – banning the Burka. (Philip Hollobone MP)

National Service – bring back national service for young people. (Philip Hollobone MP)

European Communities Act 1972 (Repeal) – leaving the EU. (Philip Hollobone MP)

Friday 13 September

Withdrawal from the ECHR – leaving the European court (under the auspicies of dealing with terrorism.) (Peter Bone MP)

Romanian and Bulgarian Accession (Labour Restriction) – restricts the rights of these two nationalities to work in the UK (Peter Bone MP)

Office of the Deputy Prime Minister (Abolition) – abolishes Nick Clegg. (Peter Bone MP)

Friday 18 October

United Kingdom (Withdrawal from the European Union) – leaving the EU (again). (Christopher Chope MP)

Asylum (Time Limit) – places a time limit (3 months) on how long an asylum seeker has to claim asylum. (Christopher Chope MP)

Foreign National Offenders (Exclusion from the United Kingdom) – Anyone convicted of a crime would be barred from the UK. (Christopher Chope MP)

Friday 25 October

Young Offenders (Parental Responsibility) – parents would be legally responsible for young offenders crimes. (Philip Hollobone MP)

Foreign National Offenders (Exclusion from the United Kingdom) – Anyone convicted of a crime would be barred from the UK. (Philip Hollobone MP)

Asylum Seekers (Return to Nearest Safe Country) – sending asylum seekers to the nearest “safe country” to their home country. (Philip Hollobone MP)

Friday 1 November

Department of Energy and Climate Change (Abolition) – ending co-ordinated attempts to deal with climate change. (Peter Bone MP)

Married Couples (Tax Allowance) Mr Peter Bone – tax cuts for married couples. (Peter Bone MP)

Charitable Status for Religious Institutions – assumes all religious institutions are automatically charities. (Peter Bone MP)

Friday 8 November

Residential Roads – new roads must be adopted by the Local Highways Authority. (Philip Hollobone MP)

Friday 22 November

Equality and Diversity (Reform) – make positive discrimination illegal. Also would make Labour’s use of AWS illegal. (Philip Hollobone MP)

Sentencing Escalator – tougher sentences for repeat offenders. (Philip Hollobone MP)

Leasehold Reform (Amendment) – amends the Leasehold Reform, Housing and Urban Development Act 1993. (Philip Hollobone MP)

BBC Licence Fee (Civil Debt) – would make no longer a crime not to pay the license fee. (Philip Hollobone MP)

Smoking (Private Members’ Clubs) – ending the smoking ban by stealth. (Philip Hollobone MP)

Friday 29 November

Foreign Aid Ring-Fencing (Abolition) – ending the UK’s commitment to 0.7% GDP spending on aid. (Peter Bone MP)

Same Sex Marriage (Referendum) – puts Equal Marriage to a referendum. (Peter Bone MP)

Wind Farm Subsidies (Abolition) – ends government subsidies for wind farms. (Peter Bone MP)

BBC Privatisation – privatises the BBC and hands “shares” to all license fee payers. (Peter Bone MP)

Prime Minister (Replacement) – puts in place an order of succession if the PM is killed or incapacitated. (Peter Bone MP)

Friday 17 January 2014

Benefit Entitlement (Restriction) – restricts EU citizens access to UK benefits. (Christopher Chope MP)

Illegal Immigrants (Criminal Sanctions) – criminalise those who have entered the country illegally. (Christopher Chope MP)

Collection of Nationality Data – data to be collected on the nationality of benefit claimants. (Christopher Chope MP)

Control of Offshore Wind Turbines – restrict the height, number, location and subsidies of wind turbines situated offshore. (Christopher Chope MP)

Employment Opportunities – presumably another attempt to undermine the minimum wage and employment rights. (Christopher Chope MP)

Friday 28 February 2014

Prisoners (Completion of Custodial Sentences) – all criminals would have to serve their full sentences. (Philip Hollobone MP)

Fishing Grounds and Territorial Waters (Repatriation) – claim certain fighing areas as “sovereign” UK territory. (Philip Hollobone MP)

School Governing Bodies (Adverse Weather Conditions) – schools will be forced to open during adverse weather. (Philip Hollobone MP)

Capital Punishment – introducing the death penalty. (Philip Hollobone MP)

Government Departments  – Amalgamates the Scotland Office, Wales Office and Northern Ireland Office). (Philip Hollobone MP)