Carolyn Harris: How I campaigned for a children’s funeral fund – and won

Earlier this month, almost 18 months of persistent campaigning came to fruition when the Prime Minister announced that fees for all children’s burials and cremations would be waived by local authorities and met instead by government funding.

It was back in November 2016 that I first stood in the House of Commons Chamber and relived the darkest days of my life. 27 years previously, my bright and beautiful little boy was tragically killed in a road accident when he was just eight years old.

The days and weeks that followed Martin’s death are hard for me to remember. I was consumed by grief and recall feeling completely numb the whole time. Planning his funeral is still a blur, but the reality of having to pay for it is not.

Thanks to the support of our local community and a loan from the bank, we were able to cover the bill, but I was always well aware of what a difference this made to us. What if we hadn’t been able to pull that money together? Whilst struggling to cope with the cruel blow we had already been dealt, I honestly believe, had we been forced to bury Martin in a pauper’s grave, it would have been too much to bear.

Despite the years that have passed since Martin’s death, I still have days where the pain is raw.  Days where I plague myself with thoughts of ‘what if?’ and ‘why?’. I will never get over losing my little boy, but as a Member of Parliament, I know that I am in the privileged position of being able to speak up for those who need support.

Around four and half thousand babies, children and young people under the age of 18 die every year in the UK. It is their families who need that support. A basic council-funded funeral versus getting into debt should not be a choice that bereaved parents have to make when it comes to saying goodbye to their child. As someone who has lived through this nightmare, I was determined to persuade the government to introduce a Children’s Funeral Fund.

When I first spoke about Martin in the Chamber, I hadn’t quite anticipated the scale of the campaign I was proposing. The support I have received from colleagues, members of the public, bereavement organisations and the press has been overwhelming. I have lost count of the number of speeches I have made, letters I have written and questions I have asked. For some time, it felt like every plea I made was met by deaf ears, but each setback simply made me more determined to succeed.

It has been incredibly hard some days to share my story, but I have found the strength, knowing that every day others are facing the heartbreak that I faced almost twenty nine years ago. On 1^st April, when the Prime Minister finally confirmed the government’s commitment to a Children’s Funeral Fund, it made all those hard days worthwhile.

I am so proud that the government have, at last, listened to my pleas and I am honoured that they have committed to the Fund in Martin’s memory.