Tuesday conference diary: ‘Three cheers for Keir as carnival begins to close in Liverpool’

Starmer’s big speech was the hot ticket yesterday in Liverpool. Only one hundred tickets were issued to lucky MPs. Those MPs with a Willy Wonka-style golden ticket excitedly took selfies ahead of their boss’s performance. The Cabinet had ringside seats, of course. The rest of us either queued for a seat or gathered around big screens in hotels and bars.

Sausages aside, the speech was carefully calibrated and beautifully crafted. There was the litany of pledges met: ‘Great British Energy – launched. One-word Ofsted judgements – ended. A Border Security Command. A National Wealth Fund – getting Britain building again. A renters reform bill – stopping no-fault evictions. A railway services bill – bringing our railways back into public ownership.

And the promise that “we’re only just getting started. A crackdown on knife crime. A real living wage. A modern industry strategy. A ten-year plan for our NHS. Devolution to our nations, regions and cities. The biggest levelling up of worker’s rights in a generation. More teachers. More neighbourhood police. More operations. Rebuilding our public services. Change has begun.”

They say you campaign in poetry but govern in prose but there was plenty of poetry. By the close, the audience was ecstatic. Sir Keir Starmer is probably the first Labour prime minister to get a round of applause for the pledge to construct more “new pylons overground’”.

READ MORE: Keir Starmer’s conference speech in full as PM pledges a ‘Britain built to last’

Go Johnny, Go

There was once a comedian called Norman Collier whose schtick was to pretend his microphone was cutting in and out.

The business secretary Jonathan Reynolds suffered a similar fate in the Parliamentary Lounge (sponsored by Lloyds) as he addressed a fringe for the Centre for Cities.

Thanks to a dodgy mic, we got every second or third word: ‘industry’ ‘business’ ‘strategy’. His audience comprised about 65 MPs who thought they were attending PLP drinks.

By midnight in the Pullman Hotel bar the Stakhanovite Reynolds’ voice was shredded. Honestly, how he and his colleagues find the energy I don’t know. Our nation is in safe hands.

Bring them home

The Deputy Prime Minister, Chancellor of the Exchequer, Science and Technology Secretary, and other MPs addressed a packed Labour Friends of Israel (LFI) reception in the presence of the ambassador and the new LFI chair Jon Pearce.

We heard from two relatives of hostages held since the 7 October massacres in the most emotional 90 minutes of the week. Last year, the same event took place within a few days of the massacre, and the queue to attend and show solidarity with the Israeli people was overwhelming. One year on, the message to bring the hostages home is louder than ever.

Noises off

Outside the conference, a few paltry protests persisted. There are far fewer Trotskyite paper-sellers than in days gone by, and “the world transformed” festival of left-wingery has disappeared. There were a couple of antisemites holding up a homemade banner suggesting that ‘Zionists Control the Labour Party’ with a star of David dripping in blood. This is obviously copper-bottomed racism, and many delegates wondered why the police just stood around watching.

I would also like to see the pro-Europe guy arrested who blasts out ear-splitting music at the queues to get into the conference centre. He’s the same bloke who does it outside Parliament. It’s so loud it hurts. Surely this level of noise pollution is against the law?

READ MORE: Labour’s landslide win was largely ‘anti-Tory vote’, FBU general secretary says

Celebrity-spotting

There’s a good sideline in celebrity spotting at conference. Tony Adams, Toby Jones, and Fergal Sharkey have been seen on the fringe. But last night showbiz royalty performed at the UK Music event. This is the music industry’s trade body, chaired by Tom Watson.

Yes, it was Will Young who came amongst us last night. It turns out that his biggest superfan is the Prime Minister’s gatekeeper Jill Cuthbertson. Number 10 veteran Cuthbertson declared last night that aside from marriage and childbirth, seeing Will Young was the greatest day of her life.

Now the carnival is over

It’s all over bar the shouting. Another conference fades into history. The omnipresence of groups like the pro-building Labour YIMBY and the pro-business SME4Labour shows how far Labour has come since 2019. The exhibition reflects the shift too: fewer pressure groups and more corporates. Cuba Solidarity is still here, but so is Sainsbury’s.

Keir Starmer is already in New York for the United Nations General Assembly, Defence Secretary John Healey left Liverpool early yesterday to chair a meeting on the Middle East, and Labour’s ministers are catching up with their red boxes.

The exhibition stalls are being dismantled, the crash barriers are being taken down, and the 10.43 from Lime Street to Euston is packed with Labour folk heading back to the Smoke. Conference melts away like snow in the sun, and the people of Liverpool reclaim their city – until next year.

Labour conference

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